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	<title>Comments on: How Can I Learn To Say ‘No’?</title>
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	<description>Time management</description>
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		<title>By: Karyn Bennett</title>
		<link>http://blog.gettingagrip.com/how-can-i-learn-to-say-%e2%80%98no%e2%80%99/comment-page-1#comment-12</link>
		<dc:creator>Karyn Bennett</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 17 Aug 2009 03:07:46 +0000</pubDate>
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		<description>I agree with Judith - personal boundaries are needed. When you understand this issue and also understand youself and what motivates you then you can do something about it. 
Also it is important to remember that what you are saying &#039;No&quot; to is a task or event and not the person asking for your time.  We can still affirm the person while declining the event.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I agree with Judith &#8211; personal boundaries are needed. When you understand this issue and also understand youself and what motivates you then you can do something about it.<br />
Also it is important to remember that what you are saying &#8216;No&#8221; to is a task or event and not the person asking for your time.  We can still affirm the person while declining the event.</p>
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		<title>By: Judith Lance</title>
		<link>http://blog.gettingagrip.com/how-can-i-learn-to-say-%e2%80%98no%e2%80%99/comment-page-1#comment-11</link>
		<dc:creator>Judith Lance</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 17 Aug 2009 02:25:42 +0000</pubDate>
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		<description>Learning when and how to say &#039;no&#039; has been an issue in my work and volunteer life.  I&#039;m an extreme extrovert, my work time involves people contact, so does my volunteer time. I&#039;m a &#039;get things done&#039; kind of person and personality profiling shows I&#039;m motivated by helping others.  I have never found that goals help me to say &#039;no&#039;.  It is a boundaries/emotions issue.  Yes, I enjoy being a &#039;helper&#039; in daily life, but I also need to help myself.  It&#039;s as I develop my own sense of being O.K. with myself that it has become easier to say &#039;no&#039;  It&#039;s also as I&#039;ve learnt to &#039;read&#039; people better that I find it easier to say &#039;no&#039; to the time wasters and the ones who want to be rescued. A neat book that has helped me a lot is &quot;Safe People&quot; by Doctors Henry Cloud and John Townsend.ISBN 187 682 5081.  The doctors are two christian psychologists who have a lot of good stuff to say about how we manage relationships in our lives.Read it and learn how to live a better life.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Learning when and how to say &#8216;no&#8217; has been an issue in my work and volunteer life.  I&#8217;m an extreme extrovert, my work time involves people contact, so does my volunteer time. I&#8217;m a &#8216;get things done&#8217; kind of person and personality profiling shows I&#8217;m motivated by helping others.  I have never found that goals help me to say &#8216;no&#8217;.  It is a boundaries/emotions issue.  Yes, I enjoy being a &#8216;helper&#8217; in daily life, but I also need to help myself.  It&#8217;s as I develop my own sense of being O.K. with myself that it has become easier to say &#8216;no&#8217;  It&#8217;s also as I&#8217;ve learnt to &#8216;read&#8217; people better that I find it easier to say &#8216;no&#8217; to the time wasters and the ones who want to be rescued. A neat book that has helped me a lot is &#8220;Safe People&#8221; by Doctors Henry Cloud and John Townsend.ISBN 187 682 5081.  The doctors are two christian psychologists who have a lot of good stuff to say about how we manage relationships in our lives.Read it and learn how to live a better life.</p>
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		<title>By: Adrienne von Tunzelmann</title>
		<link>http://blog.gettingagrip.com/how-can-i-learn-to-say-%e2%80%98no%e2%80%99/comment-page-1#comment-9</link>
		<dc:creator>Adrienne von Tunzelmann</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 30 Jul 2009 22:28:27 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://blog.gettingagrip.com/?p=39#comment-9</guid>
		<description>Two other reasons it can be hard to say no (speaking for myself!): one is the &quot;because I can, I should&quot; syndrome (which comes from a sense of duty); the other is the &quot;when I say no I feel guilty&quot; syndrome (will I let the other person down, or hurt their feelings). Any fellow Scottish Presbyterians out there will recognise these! They are good traits, but need boundaries. Clear goal setting is perhaps the best way to put these in perspective, do you think?</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Two other reasons it can be hard to say no (speaking for myself!): one is the &#8220;because I can, I should&#8221; syndrome (which comes from a sense of duty); the other is the &#8220;when I say no I feel guilty&#8221; syndrome (will I let the other person down, or hurt their feelings). Any fellow Scottish Presbyterians out there will recognise these! They are good traits, but need boundaries. Clear goal setting is perhaps the best way to put these in perspective, do you think?</p>
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